Sun Aug 23 17:20:22 PDT 2015
The Art of Dealing with People by Les Giblin
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A short read. This book(let) reminds you of the criticality of not damaging the ego of another person. Excellent advice - Dale Carnegie-like - but difficult to apply in practice - because it goes against our naturally selfish tendancies. Here is the basic structure of the book.
- Thinking creatively about human relations
- If you want to get anything done - you had better be able to get along with other people
- Understanding the human ego
- Recognizing that everyone is egotistical, selfishly interested in themselves, wants to amount to something and wants to be feel approval
- A starved ego is a mean ego
- Making people feel important
- Think others are important
- Notice people
- Don't compete with people
- Know when to correct people
- Controlling the actions and attitudes of others
- Be confident
- Walk confidently
- Shake hands confidently
- Moderate your voice
- Smile
- Impute virtue in others
- Creating a good impression
- Don't wear a disguise
- Don't knock the competition
- Developing an attractive personality
- Accept, approve and appreciate others
- Learning to communicate effectively
- Don't try to be perfect
- Get people talking about themselves
- Don't tease and don't be sarcastic
- Listening
- Listening makes you clever, so...
- Look at the person who is talking
- Appear deeply interested
- Lean towards the person
- Ask questions
- Don't interrupt, ask for more
- Stick to the speaker's subject
- User the speaker's words
- Convincing others
- Allow others to speak to state their case
- Pause before you answer
- Don't insist on winning 100%
- State you case moderately
- Speak through third parties
- Allow others to save face
- 'I felt the same way about it at first, until I ran acorss this information which changed the picture'
- Giving praise
- Sincerity
- Speak up
- Thank people by name
- Look at people when you thank them
- Work at thanking people
- Thank people when they least expect it
- Criticizing without offending
- Criticize in private
- Preface criticism with a kind word
- Criticize the act not the person
- Supply the answer
- Ask for cooperation
- One criticism to an offence
- Finish in a friendly fashion