2011-02-01T08_16_38

Strengthen Your Relationships

Relationships take work. It takes time and effort to ensure that you do not allow your romantic relationships to go stale. On those occasions when you wish your boyfriend, girlfriend, husband or wife would surprise you with a romantic meal or an exciting get-away holiday, take a moment to consider whether there is something that you could do yourself to make the relationship more passionate and close. One of the most critical skills in relationships is to understand and value your partner's perspective. To understand and value how another person perceives and reacts to the world. Inevitably, we are not all the same, we do not respond identically, no matter how close we are, and in the differences there can be relationship trouble. Rather than let minor differences in perception add up and threaten a relationship build your ability to see things from your partner's perspective. With practice and thought you will develop your joint perspective, not to be joined as a single being, but to appreciate, respect, and understand your partner's view, and never to devalue it.

Here are five areas that you can explore with a partner to learn more about each other and allow your relationship to grow.

Things you have in common. What attributes or convictions do you share? Don't be judgmental, be honest! You have common attributes that you both share. List them all here.

Things you enjoy doing together. There are a variety of activities which you enjoy taking time to do with your partner.

Qualities you admire in your mate. These are attributes which you may well not possess yourself which you nevertheless admire in your partner.

Dreams or goals you both share. What would be your ideal situation, what dreams do you share?

Extraordinary shared experiences. In your times together, be they just a few hours, or several decades what are the remarkable shared experiences that you have had together?

When frustration in a relationship looms, take a moment to understand your partner in these different dimensions of your relationship. If you fill out the lists with your partner you will find that you develop a deeper understanding of each other and your relationship will be stronger.

By means of illustration here is an example lists

Things you have in common: Strong opinions on many subjects, often reserved, enjoy literature, enjoy quiet times, children.
Things you enjoy doing together: Watching movies, sharing culinary experiences, walking in scenic places, talking together, working together.
Qualities you admire in your mate: The ability to cook, the ability to speak languages fluently, a wonderful speaking voice, beauty and style, patience.
Dreams you both share: Relaxed vacations, a larger home, more secure finances, more time for travel, more time for hobbies.
Extraordinary shared experiences: The births of children, moving home on several occasions, flying over the Grand Canyon, handling floods, living in foreign cities.

Take a moment to jot down your thoughts on these subject areas. Ask your mate for his or her responses. Looking at your relationship through the eyes of your mate with the aid of these lists will provide material and memories which are guaranteed to bring you closer.

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